The Life OF A Novel AKA An Idiot’s Guide To Livin’

Still nothing. Instead of watching any of the films I mentioned last week and in lieu of beginning my next long form project on the Coen Brothers, I’m still being as random as possible. Easily distracted, that’s what they call it and that’s what I am — no question. But, you may ask, what have I been doing?

I finished my novel and that has been enough for this week. Countless revisions later and now I am…comfortable with the book. I don’t think I’ll ever be fully satisfied with anything I write but there comes a point where you have to ship your little mutant baby off to school. My novel began as an eighty-eight thousand word screenplay, twenty two years ago. The title was so pretentious that I am not going to share it here. A production company in England told me it read like a mashup of Conan The Barbarian and Animal House. I thanked them. They told me that it wasn’t a compliment. I worked on something else. The story always stuck in the back of my mind but I left it for awhile. Then, Muse released their album, The Resistance, and closed the album with a three part rock symphony called, Exogenesis. A spark ignited. I pulled the screenplay and made changes — many, many changes. The screenplay was dead and in it’s place appeared a one hundred and twenty-five thousand word novel. It sucked. I knew it and anyone brave enough to read it, knew it. Time to make changes. I chopped some nonsense from the novel and then had a one hundred and ten thousand word beast. I called my agent to see what we could do about this but found out he’d apparently died in between my projects. The agency wasn’t looking to represent literary writers, only screenwriters. My goose was cooked. Time to make some new rounds but to no avail. Something with the novel still bothered me, something was missing — I wasn’t saying what I wanted to say and didn’t know how to say it. I shelved the novel. I returned to writing short stories and making blog posts. Writing depression set in as I’d given up a writing gig that was beginning to pay in order to pursue the novel and I’d failed. I couldn’t see the way out.

The way out is through — always.

We can fast forward to the year 2020. I found myself again giving up a good paying job in order to move clear across the country — from New York to El Paso, Texas. Time to write. I finished two short stories quickly and then set my sights on a new novel. Going to my file of ideas, I started picking one which connected. Nothing connected right away but something unexpected wormed its way back into my brain. The Violent Winds. I began writing short stories involving my main characters as a way to better understand them. This method worked wonders and my voice finally found itself. I knew how to tell this story. Blasted out an outline. Completely scrapped all previous versions of the novel and started over from word one. I wrote like a demon and then revised. And then revised some more. And then revised again. And then thought maybe I’d revised too much so I revised again. I’m done and it’s pretty close to how I always wanted this story to be told. It’s me and it’s from me but it’s also a bit of itself and it’s weird in a way I didn’t initially expect but it’s a lean and mean eighty-two thousand word reading machine.

So that is, as they say, that. We’ll see what happens. First things first, I need a new agent.

Segway aka what I originally thought I’d be writing about today.

I watched the 2019 French film, Les Miserables this week and thought it was pretty good. An interesting story about police brutality. I also re-watched several favorites like Hot Fuzz, On The Rocks, and Heat. All great but Quentin Tarantino’s Once Upon A Time In Hollywood really stuck out for me this week. Now, I saw this film twice in theaters and have probably watched it six or seven more times since then. I love the film and now I know exactly why: it represents exactly the type of movie which no longer gets made. I miss movies that are movies. I miss not being sold something by some giant corporate entity while watching a movie. QT makes movies about people and movies about people living their lives, ending up in interesting situations. I miss those the most. So, here’s to you, movies not trying to sell me shit and only being about your own shit, I salute you.

Next week, who knows? I’m about to start a new novel. Two ideas have raced to the front: a crime novel and a memoir. A memoir? Lmfao. Well, I am an idiot and I’ve done some idiotic things in my younger life and when I wrote all of those things down, I thought maybe there could be something there. We’ll see. I’ll probably begin writing both at the same time because, like I said, I am an idiot. Until then, love each other.

My Favorite Films Of The Pandemic Year 2020

The past twelve months has afforded me a monumental amount of time for self reflection — and free time. I turned forty one years old this past year and up until the end of February, I lived my entire life in New York. The start of the year saw my wife and I sell our home, pack up and drive across three fourths of this country to El Paso, Texas. The Elp is where my wife was born and where a majority of her side of the family still resides. It was time. I had become disillusioned with life in the North East. It wears on you and slowly sucks you down into the muck with the rest of the emotional terrorists taking up residence in the dirt. I gave up a good paying job (one I no longer enjoyed doing) and we came with ideas to maybe start some sort of business ourselves. I was also determined to give my writing a serious shot once more. The idea of writing for a hokey list making website again didn’t interest me so I restarted this blog — what you’re reading right now. Maybe we’d do a podcast, maybe I’d take another stab at fixing my novel which, by the way, was how I lost that hokey side gig writing for that list making website in the first place. Long story short, 2020 had other plans for us. The pandemic set us all back, washed up on a shore of circumstance and feeling like we were somehow still at sea.

There were a few positive developments during this trying time. For one, I’ve been able to spend nearly every single day with two of my nieces after taking on the responsibility of aiding them in their online schooling. I also completed two short stories and my novel is in the final polishing phase before ultimate completion. I worked hard and I’m proud. I also raised ten puppies from literal birth this past fall and found homes for nine of them before keeping one for myself. I love all of my pets, the ones still with me and the ones I’ll never forget but I love my new baby girl more than I’ve ever loved an animal before and I think it has a lot to do with raising her since the actual day of her birth. These are the things I must focus on to keep charging ahead into an uncertain future. Film helps. It’s always helped better than most. Films, books, games, etc. these are the things that have always helped to keep me sane, unwind and reflect, and on many occasions, inspire me to do more myself.

When I was in college, I had no clue what I wanted my future to hold. I was stuck. Music was a passion and I thought production may be the way. Yeah, a music producer sounded pretty good. I also loved film and thought that perhaps film school would be the way. I was accepted at NYU but got scared by the tuition bill I’d be responsible for. I decided to begin at community college in a music curriculum and then transfer, either to a dedicated music school or perhaps finally to NYU. I crashed out. Took money in front of me and decided to live my life in the here and now. Hell, this path led me to my wife which completed my transformation into an actual human being. I don’t know how much of a decent person I’d be had I never met her and maybe I’m still not even that decent of a person but I do know this: I’d be no less than 50% more of a shitty person had we never met.

So why am I telling you all of this? Because films are stories. Films can transport us anywhere throughout time and space and make us feel connected to something bigger. Because I never stopped loving film and attempting to understand filmmakers and their wants and desires. Because I’ve never stopped trying to understand my own. Another blessing fo 2020 was the free time afforded to pursue these delights. The funny thing is, it still wasn’t enough time to do and see and read and experience it all. Theaters being closed meant that I couldn’t get to a screening of films I really wanted to see like: Nomadland or Minari. I also ran out of time (for the purpose of this post being anywhere near relevant) to see Steve McQueen’s Small Axe series on Amazon. Still, I did get to see a lot and I my feelings for many of these films are so similar, I decided to make my year end list a top twenty five — this way I could share a few words for each of them.

With that behind us, and eight hundred words under the belt, I present you with my favorite twenty five films of the pandemic year 2020:

1. POSSESSOR – Brandon Cronenberg crafted the pinnacle of 2020 cinema for me. I’ve already watched this film three times. Andrea Riseborough plays an assassin who mind controls other people to kill her targets for her. Christopher Abbott stars as her latest victim when everything goes wrong. Trust me, you’ve probably never seen a film quite like this one.

2. PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN – Carey Mulligan should definitely be preparing an Oscars speech for her performance as a revenge fueled woman aiming to make predatory men fear their ways. This film flat out knocked my socks off. I didn’t want it to end.

3. DA 5 BLOODS – I love Spike Lee to death. He’s never lost his adventurous spirit as a filmmaker. This is his best film in over a decade and his cast is nothing short of brilliant. Delroy Lindo is finally getting some justified reverence for his talent while Jonathan Majors, as his son, is in the midst of becoming a movie star. You add in Wire alums like Isiah Whitlock and Clarke Peters (who’s nearly Lindo’s equal in this) and yeah, something special. Chadwick Boseman is great here too in one of his final roles.

4. SHIRLEY – Elisabeth Moss is ridiculously talented. Two completely different roles in 2020 with this one and the Invisible Man and she knocks both of them out of the park. Her range is immeasurable. Here she plays writer Shirley Jackson in the midst of a potential mental breakdown. The film plays like a river cutting through rocky terrain. You’re never quite sure what’s real and what’s imagined or even what will happen next. Great stuff.

5. UNCLE FRANK – I love Paul Bettany and Sophia Lillis is a star in the making. The rest of the cast is also superb in this drama about family secrets which can breed hate and the forbidden love they don’t understand. “You’re my big brother, Frank.” Tears.

6. TESLA – This film is fucking nuts. Featuring two acting treasures in Ethan Hawke and Kyle MacLachlan as Tesla and Edison during their electricity war. Note to Hollywood: This is how you do a biopic!

7. THE VAST OF NIGHT – Andrew Patterson is one to keep an eye on. Watching this film reminded me of a young Spielberg and I don’t throw that around lightly. There’s a tracking shot in the middle of this baby that is equally breathtaking in it’s ability to capture the vibe of a small town and mind boggling in how it could have possibly been accomplished. Please watch this film, it is soooooooooooo good.

8. MANK – Fincher is the man and this was a career long passion project for him. Gary Oldman is (no surprise) phenomenal as the titular Citizen Kane writer and the dialog flies at you fast and furious. Awesome flick about the writing of an awesome flick.

9. SWALLOW – This film crept up on me. I wasn’t too sure about it throughout it’s first half but it’s one that sneaks into your brain and takes up residence. I knew I liked the film by the time the credits rolled but it was in the days after, where it still occupied my thoughts, that I realized I loved the film. Terrific lead performance in this one.

10. THE PAINTER AND THE THIEF – I’ve already specifically written about this film right here on this blog. An incredible doc about the human spirit and the capacity for forgiveness.

11. SOUL – It’s Pixar you fools! This one made me cry. (Not a shocker to those who know me)

12. I’M THINKING OF ENDING THINGS – Charlie Kaufman is my kind of madman. This film explores grief and regret like few films you’ve ever seen. Jessie Buckley is great but Jesse Plemmons is just the best god damn actor who doesn’t get enough recognition for his work. Seriously, Plemmons is almost always the best part of any movie he’s in.

13. TENET – I love Nolan. He makes big dumb action movies that actually have a working brain. Tenet is one that’s all about technique and the crafting of a film and less about story or character. Not my favorite Nolan but still a really fun movie. Also, I don’t know why people found the story so hard to decipher. It’s not that complicated.

14. ONE NIGHT IN MIAMI – Regina King shows great command over her actors and it’s a necessary skill because this film relies solely on that particular skill. Overall, feels more like a stage production than a film but it’s still very good. The actors playing Malcolm X and Jim Brown are the standouts.

15. BLACK BEAR – This is a film about a break up caused by infidelity. This is a film about making a film about a break up caused by infidelity. This film is crazy in how it manages to worm itself into your brain. Aubrey Plaza is incredible and Christopher Abbott is becoming one of my new favorite people to see on screen.

16. SOUND OF METAL – Speaking of people I love to see on screen, Riz Ahmed is extraordinary as a drummer in a hardcore band who is going deaf. Music is his life and he must learn to readjust and accept his fate. Olivia Cooke is great as his band mate/girlfriend and Mathieu Amalric shows up as Cooke’s father in a few poignant scenes. Also, Paul Raci as Ahmed’s deaf mentor is amazing. This is a well crafted, tight film.

17. PALM SPRINGS – Andy Samberg and Cristin Milioti play two people stuck in a time loop at a wedding they don’t wish to be at. Add in a maniacal JK Simmons as someone else stuck in the same loop and you’re bound to have some diabolical fun. This was a breath of fresh year in 2020.

18. ON THE ROCKS – Right now in my life, after David Lynch, Sofia Coppola is my favorite filmmaker. I love the way she writes and I also love how she captures the essence of emotion on screen. Here, she teams back up with Bill Murray (the g.o.a.t) for a little madcap family mayhem about a father and his daughter attempting to catch a suspected cheater. Coppola shoots the living shit out of New York City, to the point where I swear I could smell it through my screen.

19. THE WOLF OF SNOW HOLLOW – A horror film. A creature film. A crime film. A family film. Snow Hollow is a superbly written “horror” film that eschews convention at nearly every turn. It also features the late Robert Forster in what I believe is his final screen role. Oh yeah, it also has a scene involving a kitchen oven that made me laugh harder than any other scene in a movie this past year.

20. MA RAINEY’S BLACK BOTTOM – A new August Wilson adaptation and this is another good one. Though, these films sometimes come across a bit pedestrian as stage to screen adaptations, this one is still worth your time. Chadwick Boseman gives the performance of his career in this.

21. HAPPIEST SEASON – Kristen Stewart is usually great and 2020 was another stellar year for her with this film and the horror film Underwater releasing earlier on. Mackenzie Davis deserves to be in everything and the same goes for Dan Levy. This one is a holiday themed rom-com with some real bite to it. Smart writing and clean direction help deliver a film worth revisiting year after year.

22. HOST – Perfectly captured life in lock down while delivering real terrifying results in under one hour. Scary as hell right to the last moment.

23. #ALIVE – Word is that this was filmed during the pandemic and it makes glorious use of the pandemic as a backdrop (and as sort of character itself). I’m a sucker for a zombie flick and this is one of the best in recent memory.

24. TIME TO HUNT – A film about a group of friends, struggling to make ends meet, executing a dangerous heist of a casino and the fallout as a result. And what a fallout it is. In the wake of their brazenness, they are hunted by a killer who will stop at nothing to punish them. As the film goes on, the killer reveals himself to be after more than just the completion of a job. The film drags on too long, had it been about thirty minutes shorter, this probably would’ve been in my top ten but it’s still really, really good.

25. I’M YOUR WOMAN – Have you ever seen a crime story where the main character’s wife is used as nothing more than a prop? Did it annoy you? This is your movie. A fresh take on the typical male dominated genre, I’m Your Woman follows the wife of a thief and killer as she fights to figure out who her husband actually was while fighting off the people he supposedly ripped off. Rachel Brosnahan is very good and the film is never not interesting.

And there you have it, folks. I’m off to hopefully finish the polish. Who knows what next Monday holds? I certainly don’t. I’ll be back on Friday with a 2010 film retrospective. Until then, love each other.

Sofia Coppola Friday #8 – The Recap

It’s the end of the line. I’m sad to let these films go for now but the beauty of art is that it’s never fully gone. Art exists all around us and even within us. Great art stays somewhere deep inside for us to draw from whenever we want or need. This project I’m embarking on with some of my favorite filmmakers has been even more rewarding than I initially thought. I’m learning things about myself that were previously hidden or unobserved. Growth is always a good thing.

With that said, let’s recap what we’ve learned from Sofia Coppola’s films.

First, she is a filmmaker who always has something to say. She makes you do the work but her message is ultimately always clear. Her films are never stagnant — they don’t just exist, they live. She is frequently inspired by depicting the reality of celebrity and tabloid culture. This makes a ton of sense considering she grew up in one of the most famous Hollywood families our generation has ever seen. Coppola is also consumed with dissecting the pitfalls of love and lust and the need to be loved. She also knows that love and obsession are completely different — this is a distinction a portion of our population routinely fails to make.

Sofia Coppola is a confident filmmaker. In fact, she’s one of the most confident filmmakers working today. Everything in her films always works in concert in order to present her specific vision. Her work is so real. How does she accomplish this? First, her dialog is always great and perfectly matched to what each film requires. This is no easy fete. She has to match her writing to the film’s tone and subject matter while also delivering something unique to not only each character but the actors portraying those characters. This is the secret sauce for a screenwriter and most aren’t nearly this good. It’s part of what makes Quentin Tarantino’s scripts so amazing. People jump to obvious conclusions about how “cool” it is and they try and mimic that. Hollywood then becomes inundated by bad imitators. No, the great ones, (and Sofia Coppola is definitely one of the great ones) match their writing with what is required and only what is required. This brings me to another aspect of why her films are so universally great: her ability to cast to the role. I will argue that this is actually a super power. Last, her needle dropping is on point. I spoke about this a few weeks ago and it bears repeating: she makes the best use of pop songs in her films. That’s it, nobody else does it better.

Now, what I’m most excited to get to is a realization I made as I rewatched her first six films. Sofia Coppola has created a trilogy of sister films. For the record, all of her films have aspects that either resemble or build upon previous work but there is more. First, On The Rocks is the odd one out. Being her newest film, it has yet to find it’s sibling. We’ll just have to see what Coppola cooks up for us in the future before revisiting. As for the other six, they break up like this:

The Virgin Suicides and The Beguiled are a perfect pair. Coppola revisits material dominated by men. TVS is based on a book written by a man and The Beguiled is a remake of a film starring Clint Eastwood. Coppola takes these stories and either reframed them around the women involved or alters the focus so we concentrate on the women and their own daily lives. Both films are about young women living under strict rules while blossoming into adults. They are curious and sheltered but possess ferocious spirits. They will leave their mark upon the world.

Lost In Translation and Somewhere go hand in hand. Both films center around men who are at sea. Both men are world famous actors but at different points in their careers. In some ways, Somewhere feels like it could be a prequel to LIT in relation to their respective main characters. Both films are unafraid to explore the ennui fame can bring with it and the trappings it holds. They also each center around a hotel that serves as a sort of prison for its inhabitants. The characters are constantly searching for a way break out and run free and that metaphor cuts deep.

Marie Antoinette and The Bling Ring belong together. These two films are Coppola’s most celebrity obsessed. Both are based on true events and real life people. Both are stories of celebrity and tabloid and excess and depression. These two films get under our skin more each time we revisit them. She digs deeper into motives of why these people would choose to either do these things or live this way. They both also deal with the youth revolting against norms and then suffering the consequences set upon them by the populace.

This brings me to the end of this particular section of my project. What have I learned? Where my first filmmaker I studied, Terry Gilliam, unearthed new observations that make me think less of him as a human being, Sofia Coppola has only grown in my estimation. She is my favorite Coppola. I said what I said. Not only that but she has climbed the mountain and reached the summit. Sofia Coppola now stands shoulder to shoulder with David Lynch as my favorite filmmakers. I can’t choose right now. Perhaps we will have to do David Lynch next.

Now to the rankings:

7 – The Bling Ring
6 – The Beguiled
5 – On The Rocks
4 – Marie Antoinette
3 – Somewhere
2 – The Virgin Suicides
1 – Lost In Translation

Next week, we’ll lay the groundwork for the next chapter in this project. Until then, love each other.

Sofia Coppola Friday #7 – On The Rocks

I am a sucker for a New York film. I grew up about an hour north of the city. Some of my family grew up in Hell’s Kitchen, some in Queens, some are on Long Island, some in Sleepy Hollow, you get the point. New York is in my blood and my heart. As a kid, I was always excited to go to the city. That never changed. I remember going on school trips to the Museum of Natural History and sneaking out to go record shopping — haggling with the dude at Bleecker Bob’s, going to Kim’s video off of St. Marks and my Holy Grail, Generation Records on Thompson. When I met the woman who I would eventually trick into marrying me, she was living on West 80th. Goddamn I loved that apartment. I remember her introducing me to Big Nick’s and then Vinny’s, where the greatest calzones on the planet reside. Going down to Chinatown to eat at Shanghai Joe’s was always a favorite and for the record, the Chinatown location is the best of the three (we’ve eaten at all of them). It’s set back in an alley and if you’re not there when they open, you may not get the soup dumplings you so crave. There is no English on that menu and the staff is rude in the best possible New York way. I fucking love that place. And don’t get me started on Halal Guys — the greatest 30 minute wait in line you’ll ever have. That food is the greatest fucking thing on planet Earth. Seriously, it’s so good you won’t make it twenty feet before sitting anywhere you can find and digging in, even if it’s snowing (I know this because I’ve seen me do it). I know I’m talking at length about food but that’s because eating is what we always did. When you’re in New York, you’re always on your way to doing something and eating is always a part of that something. New York is always alive, the sidewalks vibrate and breathe, steam rises and random shit fits break out amongst total strangers. And I love and miss it so much.

I haven’t even talked about the Italian restaurant we always ate at, Coppola’s. It’s funny because Coppola’s is what set off this trip down memory lane. The first time I went there I thought it was owned by Francis Ford Coppola. I was an idiot but there it is.

Anyway, the reason I bring all of this up is that Sofia Coppola’s newest film, On The Rocks, is set in New York. It’s her first film set in the greatest city in the world and good goddamn did she shoot the ever loving shit out of this film. It just FEELS like New York. I can smell it and I love it and it brings memories flooding in like a dam broke.

And finally, we’re ready to fully dig in to Sofia Coppola’s seventh feature film, On The Rocks. I’m not going to quite dig into spoilers because this film is so new. I want people to experience this film fresh, like I did. With that said, we will still get into the themes Coppola explores.

On The Rocks is the story of Laura (Rashida Jones) and her dad Felix (Bill Murray). She’s stuck in life and fearing that her husband (Marlon Wayans) has fallen out of love with her to the point that he’s cheating on her. Felix is a wealthy art dealer and a bit of a cad. He loves his daughter and perhaps he loves everything in life a bit too much. He cheated on Laura’s mother and then left. He’s a womanizer and heavy drinker — always up for a party. Laura leans on her father and he takes this opportunity to embroil her in a caper to catch Laura’s husband Dean in an affair.

From the start, we are all the way in Laura’s shoes. We feel her paranoia and how she begins looking at everyone sideways. Her trust in Dean is eroding and so we do not trust Dean. More than this, we feel the loneliness Laura is experiencing. She’s surrounded by millions of people but the one she wants is never around. She suffers paralysis with her work and is overwhelmed with the task of raising two children by herself. Coppola adds two nice touches to cement Laura’s uncomfortable stasis: making boxed macaroni and cheese in a Le Crouset and then that fucking Roomba just banging away on every possible surface. I love these subtle touches.

At her breaking point, her father calls and then shows up. Now it’s Felix time and man does he rule. Bill Murray is the only actor who could play this role and Rashida Jones is the perfect foil for his antics. They come across as a real life father and daughter. Again, perhaps Coppola’s greatest strength is her ability to cast to the role. Their dialog is so crisp and rat-a-tat-tat on point yet natural. One of the “big” scenes of the film is when Felix convinces Laura to tail Dean to a business dinner. Felix, in a near broke down convertible, with caviar and champagne as a snack, is ridiculously hilarious in this sequence. Murray turns into a teenage boy before our eyes as he runs red lights, cuts people off, speeds, bottoms out, and does it all while cackling. They eventually get pulled over by the police and well, that scene ends up being even funnier. In fact, this is easily Coppola’s funniest film. It resembles a madcap road trip film as much as it does a mediation on married life. It’s great at the former but the latter is where the film truly shines.

Felix and Dean share a scene at the door to their building that gave me goosebumps. It’s a father and a husband, who size each other up and let one another know something about the other without actually giving up much ground. Like I said, goosebumps. It’s here where we begin to understand Felix a little better. He’s not just being a protective father. Felix sees some of himself in Dean. Felix is beginning to reckon with his past failures. He doesn’t know how to change but he knows that his lifestyle has consequences for others. The film takes us down to Mexico near the end and Felix again unfurls a bit more. He confesses to Laura why he did what he did and it’s proof that in life and love there are no easy answers. He knows he’s wrong but he’s finally being honest about why he did what he did. It’s wonderfully naked. For her part, Laura does not allow Felix off the hook. She gives him his medicine. He’s earned it and even though he may not like it, he knows it’s deserved. It’s tough for us because Felix is so likable. Maybe he reminds us of people in our own lives. Telling someone you love that you’re angry or disappointed or even disgusted by their actions doesn’t mean you don’t love them — it’s the opposite. Love requires honesty. Again, there are no easy answers.

This is what Coppola is pointing out to us above all else. The film is about relationships and the give and take they require. Relationships cannot be a one-way street. Marriage cannot exist without work. Love cannot work without trust.

Another great film from Sofia Coppola — one I will be rewatching over and again. Next week, our wrap-up. Until then, love each other.

Sofia Coppola Friday #0 – A Short Intro

Short piece today. Fridays have morphed from Gilliam Fridays to Sofia Coppola Fridays. Beginning next week, the eighteenth, I’m diving into the oeuvre of one of my very favorite filmmakers. I’ve had some truly special experiences with Sofia Coppola’s films — experiences which I will also discuss on a weekly basis. Very few filmmakers have captured the ennui of everyday life better than she has and I am excited to dive back in to these films I love so much. Also, this will line up nicely for her brand new film, On The Rocks, to release in October. Next week is The Virgin Suicides. Until then, love each other.