The past twelve months has afforded me a monumental amount of time for self reflection — and free time. I turned forty one years old this past year and up until the end of February, I lived my entire life in New York. The start of the year saw my wife and I sell our home, pack up and drive across three fourths of this country to El Paso, Texas. The Elp is where my wife was born and where a majority of her side of the family still resides. It was time. I had become disillusioned with life in the North East. It wears on you and slowly sucks you down into the muck with the rest of the emotional terrorists taking up residence in the dirt. I gave up a good paying job (one I no longer enjoyed doing) and we came with ideas to maybe start some sort of business ourselves. I was also determined to give my writing a serious shot once more. The idea of writing for a hokey list making website again didn’t interest me so I restarted this blog — what you’re reading right now. Maybe we’d do a podcast, maybe I’d take another stab at fixing my novel which, by the way, was how I lost that hokey side gig writing for that list making website in the first place. Long story short, 2020 had other plans for us. The pandemic set us all back, washed up on a shore of circumstance and feeling like we were somehow still at sea.
There were a few positive developments during this trying time. For one, I’ve been able to spend nearly every single day with two of my nieces after taking on the responsibility of aiding them in their online schooling. I also completed two short stories and my novel is in the final polishing phase before ultimate completion. I worked hard and I’m proud. I also raised ten puppies from literal birth this past fall and found homes for nine of them before keeping one for myself. I love all of my pets, the ones still with me and the ones I’ll never forget but I love my new baby girl more than I’ve ever loved an animal before and I think it has a lot to do with raising her since the actual day of her birth. These are the things I must focus on to keep charging ahead into an uncertain future. Film helps. It’s always helped better than most. Films, books, games, etc. these are the things that have always helped to keep me sane, unwind and reflect, and on many occasions, inspire me to do more myself.
When I was in college, I had no clue what I wanted my future to hold. I was stuck. Music was a passion and I thought production may be the way. Yeah, a music producer sounded pretty good. I also loved film and thought that perhaps film school would be the way. I was accepted at NYU but got scared by the tuition bill I’d be responsible for. I decided to begin at community college in a music curriculum and then transfer, either to a dedicated music school or perhaps finally to NYU. I crashed out. Took money in front of me and decided to live my life in the here and now. Hell, this path led me to my wife which completed my transformation into an actual human being. I don’t know how much of a decent person I’d be had I never met her and maybe I’m still not even that decent of a person but I do know this: I’d be no less than 50% more of a shitty person had we never met.
So why am I telling you all of this? Because films are stories. Films can transport us anywhere throughout time and space and make us feel connected to something bigger. Because I never stopped loving film and attempting to understand filmmakers and their wants and desires. Because I’ve never stopped trying to understand my own. Another blessing fo 2020 was the free time afforded to pursue these delights. The funny thing is, it still wasn’t enough time to do and see and read and experience it all. Theaters being closed meant that I couldn’t get to a screening of films I really wanted to see like: Nomadland or Minari. I also ran out of time (for the purpose of this post being anywhere near relevant) to see Steve McQueen’s Small Axe series on Amazon. Still, I did get to see a lot and I my feelings for many of these films are so similar, I decided to make my year end list a top twenty five — this way I could share a few words for each of them.
With that behind us, and eight hundred words under the belt, I present you with my favorite twenty five films of the pandemic year 2020:
1. POSSESSOR – Brandon Cronenberg crafted the pinnacle of 2020 cinema for me. I’ve already watched this film three times. Andrea Riseborough plays an assassin who mind controls other people to kill her targets for her. Christopher Abbott stars as her latest victim when everything goes wrong. Trust me, you’ve probably never seen a film quite like this one.
2. PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN – Carey Mulligan should definitely be preparing an Oscars speech for her performance as a revenge fueled woman aiming to make predatory men fear their ways. This film flat out knocked my socks off. I didn’t want it to end.
3. DA 5 BLOODS – I love Spike Lee to death. He’s never lost his adventurous spirit as a filmmaker. This is his best film in over a decade and his cast is nothing short of brilliant. Delroy Lindo is finally getting some justified reverence for his talent while Jonathan Majors, as his son, is in the midst of becoming a movie star. You add in Wire alums like Isiah Whitlock and Clarke Peters (who’s nearly Lindo’s equal in this) and yeah, something special. Chadwick Boseman is great here too in one of his final roles.
4. SHIRLEY – Elisabeth Moss is ridiculously talented. Two completely different roles in 2020 with this one and the Invisible Man and she knocks both of them out of the park. Her range is immeasurable. Here she plays writer Shirley Jackson in the midst of a potential mental breakdown. The film plays like a river cutting through rocky terrain. You’re never quite sure what’s real and what’s imagined or even what will happen next. Great stuff.
5. UNCLE FRANK – I love Paul Bettany and Sophia Lillis is a star in the making. The rest of the cast is also superb in this drama about family secrets which can breed hate and the forbidden love they don’t understand. “You’re my big brother, Frank.” Tears.
6. TESLA – This film is fucking nuts. Featuring two acting treasures in Ethan Hawke and Kyle MacLachlan as Tesla and Edison during their electricity war. Note to Hollywood: This is how you do a biopic!
7. THE VAST OF NIGHT – Andrew Patterson is one to keep an eye on. Watching this film reminded me of a young Spielberg and I don’t throw that around lightly. There’s a tracking shot in the middle of this baby that is equally breathtaking in it’s ability to capture the vibe of a small town and mind boggling in how it could have possibly been accomplished. Please watch this film, it is soooooooooooo good.
8. MANK – Fincher is the man and this was a career long passion project for him. Gary Oldman is (no surprise) phenomenal as the titular Citizen Kane writer and the dialog flies at you fast and furious. Awesome flick about the writing of an awesome flick.
9. SWALLOW – This film crept up on me. I wasn’t too sure about it throughout it’s first half but it’s one that sneaks into your brain and takes up residence. I knew I liked the film by the time the credits rolled but it was in the days after, where it still occupied my thoughts, that I realized I loved the film. Terrific lead performance in this one.
10. THE PAINTER AND THE THIEF – I’ve already specifically written about this film right here on this blog. An incredible doc about the human spirit and the capacity for forgiveness.
11. SOUL – It’s Pixar you fools! This one made me cry. (Not a shocker to those who know me)
12. I’M THINKING OF ENDING THINGS – Charlie Kaufman is my kind of madman. This film explores grief and regret like few films you’ve ever seen. Jessie Buckley is great but Jesse Plemmons is just the best god damn actor who doesn’t get enough recognition for his work. Seriously, Plemmons is almost always the best part of any movie he’s in.
13. TENET – I love Nolan. He makes big dumb action movies that actually have a working brain. Tenet is one that’s all about technique and the crafting of a film and less about story or character. Not my favorite Nolan but still a really fun movie. Also, I don’t know why people found the story so hard to decipher. It’s not that complicated.
14. ONE NIGHT IN MIAMI – Regina King shows great command over her actors and it’s a necessary skill because this film relies solely on that particular skill. Overall, feels more like a stage production than a film but it’s still very good. The actors playing Malcolm X and Jim Brown are the standouts.
15. BLACK BEAR – This is a film about a break up caused by infidelity. This is a film about making a film about a break up caused by infidelity. This film is crazy in how it manages to worm itself into your brain. Aubrey Plaza is incredible and Christopher Abbott is becoming one of my new favorite people to see on screen.
16. SOUND OF METAL – Speaking of people I love to see on screen, Riz Ahmed is extraordinary as a drummer in a hardcore band who is going deaf. Music is his life and he must learn to readjust and accept his fate. Olivia Cooke is great as his band mate/girlfriend and Mathieu Amalric shows up as Cooke’s father in a few poignant scenes. Also, Paul Raci as Ahmed’s deaf mentor is amazing. This is a well crafted, tight film.
17. PALM SPRINGS – Andy Samberg and Cristin Milioti play two people stuck in a time loop at a wedding they don’t wish to be at. Add in a maniacal JK Simmons as someone else stuck in the same loop and you’re bound to have some diabolical fun. This was a breath of fresh year in 2020.
18. ON THE ROCKS – Right now in my life, after David Lynch, Sofia Coppola is my favorite filmmaker. I love the way she writes and I also love how she captures the essence of emotion on screen. Here, she teams back up with Bill Murray (the g.o.a.t) for a little madcap family mayhem about a father and his daughter attempting to catch a suspected cheater. Coppola shoots the living shit out of New York City, to the point where I swear I could smell it through my screen.
19. THE WOLF OF SNOW HOLLOW – A horror film. A creature film. A crime film. A family film. Snow Hollow is a superbly written “horror” film that eschews convention at nearly every turn. It also features the late Robert Forster in what I believe is his final screen role. Oh yeah, it also has a scene involving a kitchen oven that made me laugh harder than any other scene in a movie this past year.
20. MA RAINEY’S BLACK BOTTOM – A new August Wilson adaptation and this is another good one. Though, these films sometimes come across a bit pedestrian as stage to screen adaptations, this one is still worth your time. Chadwick Boseman gives the performance of his career in this.
21. HAPPIEST SEASON – Kristen Stewart is usually great and 2020 was another stellar year for her with this film and the horror film Underwater releasing earlier on. Mackenzie Davis deserves to be in everything and the same goes for Dan Levy. This one is a holiday themed rom-com with some real bite to it. Smart writing and clean direction help deliver a film worth revisiting year after year.
22. HOST – Perfectly captured life in lock down while delivering real terrifying results in under one hour. Scary as hell right to the last moment.
23. #ALIVE – Word is that this was filmed during the pandemic and it makes glorious use of the pandemic as a backdrop (and as sort of character itself). I’m a sucker for a zombie flick and this is one of the best in recent memory.
24. TIME TO HUNT – A film about a group of friends, struggling to make ends meet, executing a dangerous heist of a casino and the fallout as a result. And what a fallout it is. In the wake of their brazenness, they are hunted by a killer who will stop at nothing to punish them. As the film goes on, the killer reveals himself to be after more than just the completion of a job. The film drags on too long, had it been about thirty minutes shorter, this probably would’ve been in my top ten but it’s still really, really good.
25. I’M YOUR WOMAN – Have you ever seen a crime story where the main character’s wife is used as nothing more than a prop? Did it annoy you? This is your movie. A fresh take on the typical male dominated genre, I’m Your Woman follows the wife of a thief and killer as she fights to figure out who her husband actually was while fighting off the people he supposedly ripped off. Rachel Brosnahan is very good and the film is never not interesting.
And there you have it, folks. I’m off to hopefully finish the polish. Who knows what next Monday holds? I certainly don’t. I’ll be back on Friday with a 2010 film retrospective. Until then, love each other.
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